Rent a Sasuke!
by SuikoMonster
Summary: What does team 7 do when they are broke?They sell Sasuke,of course.The only problem is his vengeful nature...SasuSaku implied


Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto. 

Just an idea that popped out when I saw a really funny pic,and they hid the coffee from me so I'm mentally unstable...Shit happens...mostly to me.Anyhow,onward with the story...

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"So that would be 78.95 Naruto-san."A waitress counted the bowls of ramen the fox boy just devoured.What an appetite.  
"Oy,say what?"Naruto's eyes turned to slits.How much did she say again?Damn,he was supposed to clean his ears last week.Oh well...He'll clean them next month.  
"78.95 Naruto-san"  
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...That is an evil lie!"He jumped on the table,pointing his index finger at the expressionless waitress.Yes,they were all pretty much used to this tantrums of his.He practically lived at Ichiraku's,considering the fact that he could eat a quantity that would satisfy an average pack of wolves.  
"You ate 23 bowls.Pay up."His ears were bleeding."Let me guess.Your pocket has holes again"  
"Umm...How did you know?"He grinned his brightest grin.  
"Whatever.I'll pay up for you,but you have to pay me back tomorrow.If not,I'll have you banned for a month."She stated coldly.  
"But I would wither away and die"  
"Let me get this straight.I.Don't.Care.Now shoo,look for my money."She waved her right hand at him suggesting him to retreat.Was she PMS-ing or what?  
"Don't you have a conscience?"The blond yelled at the indifferent girl.  
"Um...Nope."

One pink haired kunoichi was suffering from an shopping-stroke again.You see,just the other day,she was walking around with her best friend Ino,when she saw this brand-new must-have pink dress with a lovely sakura-petal pattern.And she made a vow to herself,she would have it even if she has to kill someone for it!Tsunade's training can twist people in the scariest angles.  
"Good morning."She greeted the shopkeeper,dragging Ino around like a puppet.An old woman that was going through the shelves had one of those 'what is this world coming to?' looks.Ino shrugged it off,not wanting to piss Sakura off.She was scary,you know...Particularily when she gets her allowance.  
"How much does that lovely dress cost?",Sakure sparkled pointing at the item she craved for in the shop window.  
"Ah...That is our newest fashion trait,miss.It's 200"  
"Um...200?"Sakura blinked in disappointment.  
"Oh!But it is worth every penny,miss!"The man smiled.  
"Eh,I don't have that kind of money right now.But could you save the dress for me?Please?"Sakura used the dreaded puppy-eyes no jutsu.  
"Sure.But only until tomorrow.Is that alright?"The poor man sweatdropped at her behavior.Women.  
"Of course!",the kunoichi nodded,but on the inside,she was cursing her crappy luck.Now where could she get the money?

In the meanwhile,one silver haired jounin was looking through the shelves in his favorite bookstore,trying to find the new edition of his perverted literature,namely,Icha-Icha-Paradise.And on that glorious moment he saw it!The Volume 10 special Icha-Icha edition!!!Of course he could only watch it with teary eyes,for he realised he was completely broke.Bankrup!Oh how he needed the perverted booklet!

Uchiha Sasuke was finally safe from his raging fangirls,hiding on the top of the tallest tree in Konoha.He reached for the contents of his paper bag,taking a bite of the newly purcased tomato.A blissful smile graced his dark features.Kami,he deserved a break...

Team 7 was once more gathered at the infamous bridge.Only,something was weird,Sasuke concluded.Why were they all suddenly silent?Wasn't Sakura supposed to be annoying him right now?Hmmm...Suddenly,Kakashi appeared from out of nowhere,declaring that the training was canceled due to financial problems.The Uchiha frowned,and went to train alone in the forest.He sure wasn't going to become rusty after completing his first goal.  
"Um...Sakura-chan?He..he"  
"What is it,Naruto?"The girl eyed him suspiciously.Why the puppy eyes?  
"Umm...Could you like...Lend me some money?"Naruto grinned for the n-th time.Sakura raised an pink eyebrow.  
"Sorry Naruto.I need money too.And urgently if I may add"  
"Damn,I'm doomed.The girl at Ichiraku's is gonna linch my butt!"The hyperactive blond screeched.Sakura's ears were bleeding.  
"Ow!Naruto,shut up!"SLAP  
"Damn...Sakura-chan!That hurts you know!"  
"Good!It's supposed to hurt."  
"Naruto,Sakura."  
"Gah!Dammit sensei!How long have you been standing there?"Naruto cringed.Sakura just rolled her eyes.It was just like Kakashi to appear out of nowhere in the lamest ways.  
"Long enough to develop a solution to all our problems.You need money,right?Well,I know where we can get some."  
"We?"Sakura smelled an evil scheme.And she loved it!  
"I need more Icha."Kakashi stated.  
"So what's the grand plan?I want to live!Live!Ramen!RAMEN!!"THUMP!  
"Oww!Sakura-chan!"  
"Listen very carefully,I shall say this only once.",the broke jounin declared with his newly acquired french accent.

It was indeed a beautiful evening in Konohagakure.Naruto payed up his debt,and now felt like someone took a huge load off his chest.He lived!Sakura was eyeing herself in the mirror,her new gorgeous dress on her.And as for Kakashi,well,he was hugging his special edition Icha-Icha-Paradise in his chibi form.Everybody was happy...Well,except for Sasuke,that is.

"Sasuke-kun!When are you picking me up?",an irritating female creature ran towards the Uchiha.What the hell?Why would he want to pick her up?!And this was the tenth question this day!Is there some kind of mental disease spreading among the hordes of vile fangirls?Sasuke Uchiha sure didn't promise to take any of them out.Hell no!  
"No fair,Sasu-kun,I bought an romantic evening with you!"She screeched.  
"You what"  
"I rented you for a night.See"  
Sasuke snatched a piece of paper out of her hands and read it aloud."Rent-a-Sasuke!!!What the fuck?!SPEND A LOVELY ROMANTIC EVENING WITH KONOHA'S NUMBER ONE BACHELOR!HELP HIM RE...What!!?!REPRODUCE THE UCHIHA CLAN!!!!!Aggghhhh"  
The girl was going to run for her life but he cut her way off."Who sold me to you"  
"Umm...hehehe..it was"  
"Speak up,woman"  
"Kakashi.Naruto.Sakura.Bye!"And she was off.Damn,what was that speed?  
"I AM WORTH MORE THAN 50 BUCKS GOD DAMMIT!!!!"

Knock.Knock,knock."Coming!Who could it be at this time of night?"Kakashi wondered opening the door to reveal a very very extremelly pissed pair of sharingan eyes."Whoopsy"  
"A,nonononono,you're not going anywhere,sensssssssseiiii...!"Sasuke grabbed him by his light blue pajamas."ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!!!"  
Needless to say,the Uchiha sent him flying over the rooftops using Kakashi's own almighty ass poke jutsu.  
"Next stop,Uzumaki's."

"I smell ramen!"Naruto interrupted a making out session with Hinata.It was just like him.He sniffed around to find the source of the tempting aroma.Sniff.Sniff!!OMG!!!Blink-blink!"Hinata-chan!There's a huge bowl of ramen in the middle of the street"  
"Naruto-kun,are you sure you're not hallucinating again?"Hinata approached to take a look."Kami,th-there really is a huge bowl of ramen in the middle of the street"  
"Yay!Ramen"  
Sasuke smirked behind the bushes.Little did the noisy blond know that the Uchiha stuffed the ramen with the most powerful laxative he could find.Next stop,Sakura Haruno.Sasuke had a really special plan for his next victim...

"Sakura.Wake up"  
"Mmm...zZzZzZz...".What,she wants to sleep?Dream on...Sasuke had sneaked into her room through the window and was now trying to wake her up.But man,was she a sound sleeper...He had to use a more violent method then.He didn't mind shaking her a bit.Hell,she deserved it.  
"Huh...No mum,I didn't eat the chair.What?"Sakura was only half awake.  
"So you didn't eat the chair.How nice"  
"Sasuke-kun?This is a weird dream..."PINCH  
"Ow...Shit!Sasuke-kun"  
"Now,now,what to do?What would you do if someone sold you for 50 damn bucks,huh Sakura?"Sasuke was sure enjoying this.  
"It wasn't me."  
"Oh,yes it was.Kakashi and Naruto told me."  
"I'll kill them.Traitorous bastards!"  
"They didn't really tell me,but you just did."  
"You conniving bitch."  
"I'd watch my mouth."Sasuke smirked.  
"Why?You'll kill me anyway!"  
"Maybe I'll just burn your lovely new dress there.I can't believe you sold me like this.",the raven haired young man came dangerously close to Sakura.  
"And why shouldn't I?I was doing you a favor,anyways.How can you restore your clan if your socially inept"  
"Don't make me demonstrate."An unnaturally big smirk was plastered across his face.  
"You wouldn't dare!"Sakura cringed,though her heart was beating in such a pace,she was silently praying she wouldn't explode.That would be messy.  
"Sakura.Sometimes you're so bloody annoying it makes me wonder."  
"Wonder what,chicken hair?"  
"Whether I should kill you...or kiss you."Haha,well that shut her up.Sasuke was still wearing that smirk.Maybe it was stuck?Nah...he was just being a mean bastard.  
"Aren't you going to say something?"  
"No."  
"Fine then."What Sasuke did next left Sakura speechless.He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her to give her a peck on the lips.Why was she lightheaded all of a sudden?Damn,that felt right,though.  
"That was so you know that I am worth more than you think.And as for revenge...Hn...Pack your damn stuff,you're moving in with me.I could use a cook,anyway.Oh,and Sakura,you just rented a Sasuke."That said,and the Uchiha's revenge was complete.

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I hope you found it funny.I had fun writing it...Still miserable because of the low caffeine level in my blood,though.Make me happy by reviewing...


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